Today while having my morning coffee I decided to open a package that came on Monday, while I was away, watching fish and otters at the waterfront Seattle aquarium, buying things I didn't actually need at Uwajimaya and driving around towns hoping I would find what I was was looking for. The freeway. And, being in the right lane at the right time as the mad rush of traffic was a bit..well... scary.
I'm just out of practice. Its been awhile since I’ve been in Seattle traffic. Alone. With no one complaining from the passenger seat, “why did you go this way, you were suppose to take a right on Grady, how did you get here, we should be on the other side of town, do you want me to just drive”. Notice the word Just..that means he’s had enough and is fed up with my inability to motor around without his constant directions. Because I’m nowhere near where I’m suppose to be. And though I enjoy getting lost. He, does not.
Not that real kind of lost where I don’t have any idea where I’ve gone or how I will get back. Its knowing exactly where I am but Im not quite sure how to get to where I want to be. Everything looks familiar but how do I get out of it, kind of lost.
Kind of like Dieting. Knowing I have to start eating and acting differently. Getting up at 5 rather than 6 so that I can get in a nice “walk” with one of the dogs. Go for an imaginary bike ride..pretend to jog at my local athletic club. Do I eat the apple or the deep fried Zucchini. You know you should eat the apple ...but the zucchini is..well its deep fried. Does it need any more explanation?
I open the package, which Im hoping is my SLSA for bubbly goodness or the small package of jars. I hoping for the new boxes for my bath in a box.
To my disappointment it is the almost free diapers and the beginning of the end of my fat self with Alli. And then the silliness kicks in when I realize I bought Alli with a package of diapers.
So I eye my coffee and decide it would be ok to have the Krispy Kreme doughnuts too... it would be the last time for some time, without the fear of pooping myself publicly later in the day.
And to further justify this to myself I think, they are Krispy Kreme from Issaquah, not Spokane. So much better. I'm not exactly sure why. Perhaps its a density thing, not as airy and less frosting... this reasoning certainly aided in my decision to have 2 doughnuts with my coffee.. which was crazy. I wanted shredded wheat.
I really did.
I heart shredded wheat more so than I do doughnuts. Unless the said doughnuts are covered in cinnamon AND sugar. Then they win out, hands down, with little effort or thought. Which is why I'm thinking my fat self needs a break from..myself.
I think I may skip the alli along with the fried zucchini and doughnuts. I'm sure it would be for the best.